random ass shit.

I think an issue with me not fully wanting to go to school is a rebellion against fufillment through careers. Ridiculous rebellion, I know, but a big part of me is saying "fuck that, I don't want to be one of those assholes who feel as though their career is their life and the center of their achievement" and I know, again, ridiculous. Part two of me says "I don't want to sit in class next to these assholes who parent's paid for their school, pay their rent, andunknowingly pay for their coke habit" I don't know what I want, I do know that besides in a sexual sense, I am not an feminin girl. Don't get angry stephie gender studies love, I don't mean it in the sense of "girls have to be one way and guys another" but, for better or worse, they are usually different. I just don't feel as thought I often think and react the way a girl would. I sometimes do when it comes to romantic situations, but I think that may be about it, and that is not often. I think if I was male, I would be living a very different life.

amen

I hate dating.

either its a formal, meet, exchange numbers, and meet again at a designated time and place wherein there is a few hours of awkward conversation followed by an ungodly long goodbye in which either a hug, kiss on the cheek, or kiss takes place, followed by a week of staring at your phone wondering if the anxiety is worth it.

or there is the run into eachother, hang out from that point (usually involving beer) and find an excuse to go to one or the other's house and have sex, followed by the awkward morning after ritual of "so was that a one night stand or am I actually going to hear from this person again?" followed by a week of staring at your phone wondering if the anxiety is worth it.

With the first, you don't end up feeling like a hussy, but with the second you get some action out of the deal, making it fairly redeemable if you never hear from the person again.

regardless, masturbation is clearly the better choice.

I'm also considering saying fuck it, and opening a mom and pop shop selling local (slc) clothing, graff shoes, tables, records, street art displayed, coffee shop/bike parts/frames (bmx, not fixed gears, sorry kids)
wish I could make up my mind, yo